I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)







Demon summons a human

Yes. good.

Can you imagine, though, this happening to you?

You’re at the movies and about to pay for your popcorn when suddenly you’re not? And there’s a demon standing there and at first you’re terrified but then you realize the demon looks so scared and nervous and you feel this tiny little tug of sympathy.

So you try and joke around a little bit with him. “You know, you’re the third demon that’s done this to me today.”

He immediately looks terrified and possibly on the verge of tears. “Oh my God, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I can… I an send you back if you want?”

Of course that catches your attention. It’s not every day you meet a demon that summons people and then gets apologetic about it. “Hey, didn’t mean anything by it. I was making a joke.” You look around. “Nice place.”

That coaxes a smile out of him. “Thanks. I, uh… It’s a little messy. My coworkers decided to torture someone in here, but I, uh…” He starts running around and picking up the various bones and knifes that lay on the floor. “I can tidy up.”

You awkwardly wait around until the demon finishes up. “So, uh, why’d you call me here?”

At this, the demon does something surprising. He starts glowing, which, if you had to guess, was how demons blushed. “I, uh…” He hurries to finish cleaning up and starts dropping bones all over the place.

You can’t help but giggle as you start helping him clean up. Once all the slightly worrying objects are out of view, he turns back to you rubbing the back of his neck. “I get a little lonely sometimes and… Well… I just really wanted a friend that wasn’t into… you know… demon stuff…”

"Oh."You can’t say you’re not surprised. If you were honest, you suspected he called you here to buy your soul or something. "That’s… nice."

"Look, I get it, probably not your thing, being friends with a demon…" He shuffles his feet around and looks at the ground.

"Not something I can say I’ve done before," you giggle. "But it’s a bit of a bad time right now. I was about to go see a movie so…"

"Oh… Oh! Sorry about that…" he says, looking distinctly crestfallen. "I knew this was a bad idea… I’ll just… send you back then–"

"Hang on a second, there. I never said no. It was just bad timing. Happens to the best of us. But after, I’d love to hang out. What’s your name?"

He gives a small start of surprise. “Uh… Adam?”

You smile. “Well, Adam, I’m Y/N, and I would love to hang out after my movie.”

He gives an embarrassed smile. “Thanks… What movie?”


"No way! I love that movie! Have you seen it yet?"

You laugh. “Only like twelve times.”

"Well, can’t keep you away from lucky number thirteen!"

You laugh with him. “So, like around five?”

Adam grins. “Around five.”

That’s so sweet I’m gonna die